Saturday, May 30, 2009



Moose Jaw Warriors GM Chad Lang and head coach Dave Hunchak...one of them is not having a good weekend.

Lang FIRED!

Chad Lang, the GM of the Moose Jaw Warriors has been fired. I got the scoop baby! I'm the only blogger who has his ass out of bed on a Saturday!!!

This will get mixed reviews from hockey pundits. Some viewed Lang as a kid in over his head, while others admired the grace in which he led his organization through some tough times on and off the ice.

MAKE SURE ALL YOU OTHER BLOGGERS CREDIT THE #1 NEWS SOURCE FOR WHL HOCKEY! ME!!! SWITZER LIVES TO INFORM!!!

Keep an eye out for my next post where I will post a recipe for a great chicken pecan salad.

R$

ryanswitzer@hotmail.com

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Switzervations

-I shave my chest...and you should too...trust me. It's 2009.

Or am I wrong? Female readers of this blog...honestly give your thoughts in the comments section.

-"What do I think the best movie of the summer will be?" Last year, The Dark Knight was the big deal of movie season. Tough to say this summer. The new Terminator sounds like it's making people think too hard. Wolverine scored big with women who like Hugh Jackman but comic book nerds didn't like it. Star Trek was a solid sci-fi/action flick, but because it's called 'Star Trek' the cool kids will avoid it or never admit to going to it. As a guy in my 30's that played with GI Joes, I should be pumped about that movie, but nothing in the trailers makes it seem intriguing.

Transformers may be the big deal of the summer. Megatron will kick some Autobot @$$ and Optimus Prime may not even make it through the film alive. Too many new robots may make the movie feel cluttered and rushed though.

-Yes...I am a geek.


-Tomorrow night I will be involved in a charity arm wrestling match with Lori Pow, the world women's champ from Winnipeg. While I will try my best to win, this match will likely be as competitive as The Undertaker vs. Barry Horowitz from Saturday morning WWF wrestling.

-Online dating is embarrassing. There, I said it. If you don't have the stones to approach a fellow human being in a social setting, and you're such a coward that you need to hide behind a keyboard and fill out a questionnaire and have a computer program do the work for you...you are a disservice to nature. I say this in the hopes that some of you losers will actually get a gym membership, some self confidence and realize that life can be much more fun than shooting desperate fish in a lonely barrel.

-Many bloggers aer talking about the sad day in the (not too distant) future when the doors are closed to Taylor Field forever, and Mosaic Stadium is imploded.

Now don't get me wrong...I've had just as much fun in that facility as most three or four game a year Rider fans from Swift Current...but I think a mass celebration should happen when that place gets the TNT.

I will say that I didn't attend many games in the Lancaster/Reed days, so for the old schoolers, don't get too heated at me. These are just my personal feelings.

It is not a pretty facility. Up until a few years ago in my lifetime it hosted as many Rolling Stone concerts as it did rider playoff games. When Taylor Field finally got to host a Grey Cup game, an American team made history by winning our national championship for the first time. I'm not USA bashing, but lets be honest, as proud Canadians that one stung.

Yes, we all have had good times. My first Rider game, Labor Day 1986, Paopao to Elgaard to win it 34-30 was amazing...but the bad outweighs the good.

Boom it, broom it, and lets turn the page on a new era.

-I'm taking my kids to see Night at The Museum 2. When all is said and done this will be a fifty dollar touch to watch Ben Stiller go through the same motions as Meet the Parents/Fokkers, Night at the Museum 1 and every other movie where we plays a down on his luck guy who is supposed to relate to average guys. Ben Stiller can do two roles.

The caricature; An over the top version of; a male model, an action star, a champion dodgeball player/gym owner, someone who talks in a husky voice who makes funny faces. All acted out the same way.

The 'everyman' geek; Every role he's had that wasn't Zoolander, Tropic Thunder or dodgeball.

There's another brain dump for you. Hit up the comment section if you agree/disagree/want me to blog about anything further. Your questions are always welcome.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Your Questions ANSWERED. Round 2

Questions from my comments section:

Are there any concerts coming to the i-Plex this summer?

Maybe...but I doubt it. No fault of the i-Plex staff though. I do believe promoters where happy with ticket sales for the Default/Mobile last year too.

Besides geography, there are some other variables (that I won't get into here) that would cause concert promoters to shy away from Swifty.

Once upon a time I did hear Seether and Three Days Grace mentioned, but that died months ago.

The Living Sky Casino is putting on some awesome shows with some decent acts. If you like concerts and would enjoy seeing them in a world class facility, try to get tickets to a show there. Nazareth sold out in a little more than a day.

Who will be the next mayor of Swift Current?

NOTE, I DO CONSIDER MYSELF A FRIEND OF SWIFT CURRENT'S MAYOR. MY CREDIBILTY ON THIS ISSUE IS COMPROMISED. I MC'D THE MAYORS LUNCHEON AND ONCE UPON A TIME I WAS TREATED TO A STEAK SANDWICH BY SANDY LARSON. TAKE THE FOLLOWING WITH A GRAIN OF SALT.

Sandy Larson will be...if she runs again...and she seems to be in campaign mode. I've heard rumors and mumblings of some other people taking a run at the chain of office but I don't think Sandy has turned off enough voters for them to make a switch. The name that keeps coming up as a mayor candidate is Stacey Ellertson. He has already laid the ground work for his campaign in the paper recently. He'll run under the banner of being financially responsible and cleaning up the drug problem in town. It's a noble cause, battling to clean up drugs in the High School, and as a parent with two kids aged 8 and 6, I'm very curious to hear specifics on how he proposes to do it. Stacey is a passionate guy and will have his supporters, but Swift Current is proven to be a business first community. I'm not saying no one cares about cocaine in the high school, but people are sure happy about their property values increasing since we elected Sandy.

If Ellertson does run, the campaign will be interesting. He's an idealist who likes the media. There will be some quotes, sound bites and stories that will make the last two elections seem pretty tame.

Anyway to answer your question...Sandy Larson...but A LOT can happen between now and October. If anyone wants to take her out of the mayor chair, it will take a lot of time, effort, strategy and money.

How was Star Trek and who was that girl you were with?

Star Trek was great. One of the best sci-fi movies of the last decade and maybe ever. It was a prequel, but due to some time travel in the plot, it also re-booted the Star Trek franchise.

Matt Damon was pegged once upon a time to be the new Captain Kirk. For whatever reason, the role went to a somewhat unknown Chris Pine. He had a few elements of William Shatner, but he also did enough to make it his own. The new Spock was conflicted as a half human half Vulcan should be. The relationship between Kirk and Spock is an interesting one, because they are both their societies versions of rebel badasses.

Karl Urban's portrayal of Dr. Bones McCoy was a straight up homage to the late Deforest Kelley. He was great whenever he was on screen. You wouldn't recognize Winona Ryder as Spock's human mother. Uhura was the films lust object who will have new age trekkies phasers set to explode. John Cho, Harold from the 'Harold and Kumar' films breathed new life into Sulu. Comedic actor Simon Pegg (Shawn of the Dead) was dynamite as Scotty and old school trekkies would probably appreciate Anton Yelchin (who also has a big part in Terminator Salvation) as Chekov.

...and to answer you other question...She was the only date I've ever had to a Star Trek movie. HAHA!

Life is good. I'll let you know when I'll be on Oprah jumping on couches.

R$

ryanswitzer@hotmail.com
Can the World Women's Arm Wrestling Champion Handle This???

I just (perhaps quite foolishly) agreed to a special exhibition Arm Wrestling Match against the World Women's Arm Wrestling Champion next weekend (May 30th) at the Living Sky Casino.

More on this next week. For now, check out the intimidation tactic below!!! Off to the gym!



R$

ryanswitzer@hotmail.com

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Because some people at Safeway and the Casino DEMANDED IT!!!

It's tough to blog this time of year. So much to do outside (when it isn't SNOWING) and people don't read blogs or waste time on computers as much when the weather gets warmer.

My role at work has changed. Less managing people...more entertaining people. I'm fine with that. Just fine!

What does this mean? I get up earlier, I can hit the gym with more of a routine and have more time to blog.

And blog I will...but with your help. If there is anything you would like to see me write about in this space, leave a comment or shoot me an e-mail.

I am forever indebted to Chris Martens. There will always be a bud lite with lime in my fridge for you bro. Always.

The Detroit Red Wings may make a liar out of me. A few posts down I predicted Detroit would fold to the bad morale in the Motor City. The Wings mean business. Remind me next year to fight the urge to load up on Vancouver Canucks. I do it every year they are in the playoffs only to watch Henrik and Daniel attempt circle jerk cycling in the corner en route to a 2nd round exit.

More later...I got some new recipes to lay on you. Impress with your BBQ SKILLZ!!!

R$

ryanswitzer@hotmail.com

Thursday, May 07, 2009

Saturday, Balsillie and Headshots

Later today I will pick up my son and we will likely swim...or bike ride, but do SOMETHING ACTIVE!

Jim Balsillie is the guy who runs Black Berry. He is Canadian and he is a hockey fan. He wants to buy the Phoenix Coyotes for 212 Million bucks and move them to Southern Ontario. You've likely heard about it. If you have somewhat followed the story but don't really know the ins and outs, check out my boy Shane's blog. Lowenberger has more brains than he knows what to do with, and he really breaks it down.

"We're cracking down on headshots"

Every NHL, WHL, OHL, QMJHL official, commissioner and director of officiating.


They've all said that hockey is looking to take head shots out of the game.

Good luck with that.

Headshots will never be taken out of hockey because NO ONE KNOWS WHAT A HEADSHOT IS. Go read any WHL play by play guy's blog. Watch any NHL or WHL broadcast. You are almost guaranteed to see a debate on 'was that a headshot'...and no panel will ever agree 100%.

Is it a headshot if the guy has his head down? What if the hitter is 6'7 and the hittee is 5'10? What if the hitter lets up, but the hittee has his head down and turns into it?

You could have a panel of hockey's best referee, several directors of officiating, several GM's, league disciplinarians, top media and coaches...show them 100 supposed "headshots" and I bet they couldn't unanimously agree on one of them even after slowing it down and watching 10 times.

If there are any hockey players reading this, learn to skate with your head up and realize your gear doesn't make you invinceable...because headshots aren't going anywhere. You can't cure a sickness when no one knows what the disease is.

If it's a marquee player delivering the hit, then it's not a headshot though.

That's all I have for now. My kids are staying over tonight, and if they get to bed early enough, I may blog while they sleep.

Have a good weekend!

R$

ryanswitzer@hotmail.com

Monday, May 04, 2009

It Sure is Monday...

I'm in a bad mood. That's all I'll say about that...this blog is not an outlet for whining!

But it can be therapeutic...so lets roll!

-Lorne Frey, former assistant coach with the Swift Current Broncos and now a member of the Kelowna Rockets organization. What was he doing 20 years ago this week?

The same thing he's doing right now! Go Rockets.

-When it comes to playoffs in any sport, I always remember the words of Harv Martinez. It was on a Swift Current Indians road trip when Harv said something along the lines of..."When you get down to the final few teams, it's all about who still wants to be there. Everyone is just as good an athlete. Who wants to pay the price and keep going versus who wants to get the season over with and go back to partying and a normal life".

I think that must be why Calgary always fizzles in the playoffs. The bright lights, legal drinking age of 18 and seductive downtown is more than a WHL aged male can ignore to concentrate on games with double overtimes three times a week.

Having said that, you'd think Saskatchewan teams would have a better track record in the WHL playoffs...


-I chuckle when I hear the words "Swine Flu". It could be a condition to describe my early years at the Shack and some of the girls I found myself in the company of at closing time. "Looks like Switzer caught the Swine Flu again" my buddies would say as they got into a cab without me.


-Tomorrow is Cinco de Mayo. A Day in Swift Current that is celebrated by Harv Martinez...and no one else.


-This weekend I helped out at the Rotary Club's Annual Lobster Fest. I walked around the room selling raffle tickets for a Rider Jersey. Local Real Estate Tycoon Trevor Koot was the MC for the event. Why exactly would you have an event where Ryan Switzer sells stuff and Trevor Koot MC's it?

We both did good in areas outside our comfort zone though...

-For the first time in a long time, I am without a slo-pitch team. My marital separation may have thrown me into slo-pitch retirement. I got the TV, she got the Cypress Snipers. I tested the slo-pitch free agent waters and no one else needs a player.

-My MC schedule for this week includes Rhythmic Gymnastics and the Mayor's Luncheon with guest speaker Marc Habscheid. This marks the 247th time I've introduced Habber as a guest speaker.

-Comeback line I wish I had said Saturday night;

Ryan Switzer (to Dean Chynoweth): Hey Dean, wanna buy a raffle ticket for this Rider Jersey?

Dean: I'm a Stamps fan.

Switzer: You've been here five years and you're not a rider fan?

What Switzer should have said: C'mon Dean, Marc Habscheid is a Rider fan! Haha!

Cool Thing About Deano:

I heard Spencer McAvoy got a try out with the Columbus Blue Jackets...One year ago, most hockey pundits had McAvoy fitted for a Spruce Grove Saints AJHL jersey, but not under our boy!

Cool Things about Deano, starring a guy who made a lobster bib look stylish and the leagues finest executive, Dean Chynoweth...Written and produced by Ryan Switzer.

-Why is there so much advertising for Viagra during NHL hockey games? In any commercial break for a CBC hockey broadcast you are guaranteed to see an ad for Viagra, Molson Canadian and then usually into the warm fuzzy McDonalds "if you were a boy, who would be my little girl?" commercial.

Research must show advertisers that people who watch hockey are suffering from erectile dysfunction, drink a lot of beer and try to raise tom-boy daughters because they wanted a boy.

I watch a lot of hockey, and I do fit one of those descriptions...

That's all for now. I will update again soon. Keep checking back.

R$

ryanswitzer@hotmail.com